To begin with…

Enreal, let me start by asking you a question; (no need to answer if you don’t want to). What made you decide to start your blog?

I will be honest. It was two weeks after my father died. I was lost, confused, bursting with pain and had nowhere to turn. My family looked to me as the rock… it was only a matter of time before I crumbled. I needed an escape. I needed to detach from my life.

This is my beautiful detachment… this is my salvation… this is my escape… this is where I can express my dreams, my desires, my visions… this is my minds home, my hearts retreat, my souls property… this is who I could be without limitations…

If the people I have met along my virtual journey in my journals would see who I was in the real world, they would be surprised. I suppose this is true for most… we share the best of ourselves here, that is why it is such a beautiful instrument… I know I have learned so much from the people I have met here and am blessed they have journeyed along side with me…

AS for the surprise… it is not that I am not a bad person or different from the words I write. I am simply busy.I work too hard and yearn for more… so much more… and I am too afraid to live… I live for my limitations…

So J… this is why I blog, this is why I write here… in some way I gain my freedom through my readers. Thank you all for journeying with me

Looking Back

I was recently thinking… what was my first post about? So I looked and found Love

Ironic for someone who does not believe in “Love” in the conventional sense… I wonder…

What was your first post about? Did it forecast what your site became?  What you wished to share? Who you are or what your message is to the world? If you read this post… Link me your “first post” I would love to read them… I leave you with Love…

Love

Love. Does true love exist?
Does true love exist as depicted in countless stories, or innumerable actions or infinite works of art?
When the emotions that come forth under the perfect circumstances make you feel more alive than before, is that not a sign?
The perfect words, the perfect setting as if an uncontrollable force that is driving for true happiness and love is alive.
Alive and well.
Almost chaos.
That is love.
If the emptiness felt when I read these words or imagine the setting is a glimpse into the unlikelihood of it happening, and the reality that happiness like that can never come forth, then what reason is there to hope for true love?
Truth be told,
deep down in the pain,
there has always been hope,
it comes with the soul.
If hope comes with the soul,
embedded within,
how is it possible to feel that much pain and want?
The want for nothing other than the perfect love.
For the soul can have only one perfect love,
and that perfect love is unattainable.

Or is it?

For Now

The days begin to fold into one. Months, weeks, days, hours… or perhaps simply minutes. I can’t tell anymore. Staring at the second hand wondering, why I can’t cry. Why I can’t feel. Why I can’t see…

Then I turn away. I walk away, once more… tired… this too shall pass…

Sighing a heavy breath, one which never really alleviates anything, a breath which is part of my soul, never parting, never detaching from my chest, from my heart… it is a heavy breath…

Then I try once more to breathe, to feel, to see, to cry… I still can’t… for now.

This too shall pass

Prophecy

Behind a veil

Beneath a lie
Within the secrets

All answers hide

For mysteries
More questions
Through histories
More lessons

As divinations curse
As predictions maze
The prophecies play
As the wisest may say

“An eternal  quest
A prophetic unrest
Be there ever a test

Lest time in time we will rest”

remember when

Remember when the shadows danced upon mirrored waters,

The forest swayed in anticipation of your dreams.

Remember when the stars whispered to your soul,

The oceans tide waved hello.

Remember when the moon would only shine for your heart to feel,

The moon would wane and wax for your joy was real…

Do you remember when?

For it was only yesterday in my minds eye.

It is not in the distant past I recall the sounds of nature.

It was yesterday, we were children… waiting in anticipation for the magic of this life and the next… but alas, the next came to soon…

I can not remember the minute when it came. The sounds of an awakening slumber. But it came, seemingly short and important. The importance shifted… the magic faded as a mirage will when water is consumed. What then… what is this water we drink… I wish to purge and remain in that blissful state. Wonder and merriment followed us as children. For I do remember when I would smile… it was before this certain awareness…

Remember the sounds of silence,

The way the wind would echo the laughter of angels.

Remember the light,

The way even the tiniest rainbow would lay captured within the walls of crystals… showing the way to freedom was in our eyes

Remember the rain,

The thunder and lightening would try to frighten us… yet we knew the truth behind the storm

Remember the snow,

The wind and white… it was never cold

How we live in this world and alone experienced these gifts… these treasures of time… do you remember? I pray we shall never forget…

Do you see?

Societies guild
The crowds mold
Individuality rusts
Personalities fold

Broken is the call

From the hole in the wall

Unveiled is potential

Born is the hope

Burned is hopes’ flame
The Sun Waxes and wanes
Time and change

Be willing to be free

Be willing to be brave

And remember to see what we need to face

We are the you you imagine

Ultimately we are our own judge, we hold the wisdom, we are the observer, but this “we” is not the conceptual we that we think and talk about, it is the real we that can only be experienced directly. When that is then there are no questions and no judgment.

Him is you, but not the you you imagine, therefor you need a segregate you, which should be taken for real until you become real.

By Mossy

Love this comment!!!!!

My dreams

My dreams

I often speak to you as if you are my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality.

Yet as of late, the nights have turned restless, fever rushes and sweat drowns my peace

As of late, the visions which fall bring not rest

As of late, the nights which gather make my eyes heavy with longing of nights which have passed

As of late, I sit in the corner and wait for dawn. Awake. Alone.

My dreams

I have spoken to you so often, yet tonight I address you, directly, and ask of you to return to me.

Do not begrudge me my mistakes, for I may have taken for granted, but I have never forsaken my peace.

Please return to me

my future, my life, my hopes, my truths… my escape… my reality…

my dreams

Please forgive me

“Please forgive me for all the things I have said”, she spoke softly.

AS she sat there, in front of the old mirror. The mirror which lay against the wall, the wall of the farthest room, hidden from sight of the minds eye.

“Please forgive me for all the things I have done.”

Slowly she trurned, another reflection cast back. Eyes heavy, features strikingly similar to those of her own.

“Please forgive me for all the things I have thought.”

“Please forgive me for all the things I have felt.”

“Please forgive me for all the things I have wished.”

“Please forgive me, because I know you know”

Defeated she fell to the ground… the reflection slowly moved to her… reached to her… and smiled…

“of course I knew, i have always known” the words floated through the air, they existed for only the girl on the floor… broken, defeated, victorious…

She opened her eyes, her mirror, her other, gone…

“I knew”

forgotten meaning

And there it was… her message. the meaning of it all… For how long she had searched, she never truly understood until that moment…

“Wake up!” The shout echoed through her mind.

The alarm clock buzzed.

She lay in bed.

Searching for her meaning.

On the ceiling